Overcoming Loneliness and Temptation: A Path to Freedom

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Loneliness is the worst. It is tough. Very tough. Consider for a second whether you would be okay with living the rest of your life alone on a desert island. You can be forever free from the restrictions and rules of society without ever interacting with anyone else again. Very few people would choose this option of ‘freedom’ because it is the opposite of freedom. It is being inescapably trapped in loneliness. Loneliness is a big reason why solitary confinement in prison has such a reputation. “The joke […] is hell is other people. That is absolutely wrong. Hell is being absolutely alone.” (Ben Shapiro, The Ben Shapiro Show – Ep. 1699 – How the West Turned Kids Suicidal, 16:34-17:21).

Why do we start an article on lust and porn by talking about loneliness? Because these issues are closely related. Many lonely individuals find online porn to be a functional escape from their predicament yet it worsens the loneliness from which the individual wants to escape.

General notes:

• Knowledge of God’s presence indwelling believers doesn’t remove us from the spiritual and moral battle. Every person has their weaknesses. Apart from Christ, we are lost and vulnerable. With Christ, we’re all on the same level. Be kind at all times and stay true to God’s Word.
• It is possible to feel lonely in societies and communities. Navigating social groups within which you share few social norms with the majority and transient or unsettled living circumstances can be reasons for such a situation. See Being Human in a Technological World for more info on this point.
• Common advice for beating addiction is removing temptation, or, as Harvard Health Publishing puts it, “change your environment”. One of the particular difficulties of battling online pornography addiction is that individuals cannot completely change their environment. Personal devices and networks can, with paid software, be imperfectly adjusted, but the World Wide Web, with its millions of pornography sites and impact on popular culture, remains the same. Laws to prevent easy online porn access are not universally popular and therefore are hard to legislate.
• The world is not inevitably always getting worse. Things sometimes change for the better (e.g. lead was removed from paint and petrol when it became obvious that it was poisonous). Technology is becoming cheaper and more capable, Christians who care about the issue of online pornography are developing new innovations and attempting to make important legal changes, and societal awareness about the negative consequences of our current predicament could be spreading. There is reason to hope that our current lamentable situation can improve.

Notes for battlers:

• In Christ, you have the power to overcome () and heal ().
• You are not the cause of the broad problem of pornography. It is a common problem that many have to deal with. Don’t let guilt overwhelm you.
• Taking “the way of escape” ideally should look like thriving or flourishing but it can look like bare survival. You cannot magic people into accepting you, and it’s quite difficult when you feel unaccepted. When life gets seriously tough, suicide can be a temptation but it is never a good ‘way out’. Persevering through a lonely social situation for years while struggling against the sin of online porn is a godly way out of temptation. This is resisting temptation.
• Talk to Christians you trust about your struggles, whatever they look like. Sin grows in the dark and dies when it is brought into the light (John 3:19-21). Keep appropriately bringing sin into the light.